business meetings

The Value of Volume When You Speak

What do I mean by the value of volume? The amount of sound we make when speaking in public has impact far beyond simply people being able to hear us. And it doesn't matter if you're highly experienced, or new and nervous: working with aspects of volume is a great way to access greater courage or presence. 1. Let's look at volume and nerves first: If you're anxious, your system tends to shrink and contract. And you may recognise any of these as a result: low breath, low energy, mind-blanks. This contraction happens to both your mind and your body...one follows the other: and the...

Asked a Difficult Question? One Way to Navigate Away

Do you struggle with knowing what to say when asked a difficult question? One way to navigate away from it is by using a specific 'attention-directing' technique. Whether it's being hit with a tricky question during a meeting or presentation, or caught in a 1:1 situation and don't want your answer to be "I don't know" or "I'm not sure": here's a redirecting technique that can get you out of trouble: Asked a difficult question? One way to navigate away Zoom in or zoom out. 1. Zoom in: this is where you redirect by saying something like: “That’s taking a broad focus, which isn't within...

For More Influence, Try Grounded Cognition

What does your brain do when you hear the word 'pepper'? What about 'grasp'? Or 'hat'? All these words fire up not just your language circuits, but different senses through other relevant brain circuitry. 'Pepper' activates your taste circuits. 'Grasp', your motor movement circuits. 'Hat' - visual circuits. Whatever you see as a hat from past experience fires up the 'seeing' part of your brain. To influence more effectively, we can improve our chances of motivating our audiences by using language that's: Concrete Specific We'll come back to examples of these in a moment. By being concrete and specific, we build a richer, more powerful experience for...

4 Steps to Stay in Control when Challenged by an Audience Member

If you speak regularly in front of groups, at some point you're probably going to have your ideas, opinion or control challenged. And it may not be a perspective you hold lightly. Sometimes audience members can touch a nerve or challenge a deeply held value…if this has ever happened to you, you'll know that it can hit hard. Or perhaps you're not holding a strong viewpoint, but simply feel a bit raw that day: something in your life isn't working, or you feel vulnerable or unwell. I've certainly had to step up and run a group or speak to an audience while...

For Influence and Confidence, Question Lazy Labels

For influence, question lazy labels We label and put people and ideas into boxes all the time: and we need to. These short-cuts for our brain are vital to let us get on with our day without stopping to second-guess ourselves. And it's much faster to label than to try to understand. However, by their very nature these labels stop us from thinking more deeply and being curious. And if you follow me regularly you'll know that I believe curiosity to be a major super-power for successful communication. The good news is that avoiding or questioning these label shortcuts can be a major step-up...

Your truth or universal truth, get to the point, and a self-worth reminder

1. To influence: are you speaking a universal truth, or your own? If as a presenter we generalise about things that aren't true for our audience, they'll usually disconnect, and the opportunity to influence disappears. And if you think this doesn't apply to you, it's worth a check-in: it's surprisingly common. Some sentence starters to be aware of when you speak: “We all appreciate that…” – are you sure? “Of course you know…” – do we? “We’ve all felt/done/heard…” – have we? Any of these can create a barrier between speaker and audience. If I feel “you’re not talking to me” , you lose me. The speaker...

Unconscious Speaking Habits May Be Holding You Back

Are you aware of what you do with your hands, or if you use many filler words (like, um, you know) when communicating? And that these unconscious speaking habits may be holding you back? Most people aren't that aware - and this is often a good thing! We have enough to do to get through each day without finding something else to work on, let's face it. And a few filler works like 'um' aren't an issue. (The problem comes when they multiply and become a barrier for the listener.) Likewise with gesturing. We gesture to help us think, and it's important not...

Communication Challenge: Avoid Empty Phrases When You Communicate

A frequent challenge when speaking is to avoid adding empty phrases when you communicate. And there are a few popular ones doing the rounds at the moment which, in my view, weaken and dilute the message you're trying to convey. Avoid Empty Phrases When You Communicate When we want to get a point across at work, whether in a conversation, meeting or presentation, it's important to be clear and crisp (unless, of course, we're trying to create a smokescreen or divert attention from something undesirable!). And there are some empty phrases which just bloat our communication. Here's a recent quote from a high-level sportsperson...

Communication Challenge: Talking Too Much When Trying to Convince

Talking too much when trying to convince or persuade others. Does this communication style sound like you? Talking too much when trying to convince! In my experience there are common reasons for talking too much, especially when trying to convince or persuade others. Here are 8 - see if you recognise yourself in one or more: You don't trust in the merit of your ideas (my last post on this is here) and are trying to convince yourself - even more than your listeners. You may think that if you just keep talking, something will click and work out. How many sales or...

Communication Challenge: Not Fully Trusting Your Own Ideas

Do you ever diminish yourself or your abilities? A real communication challenge comes from not fully trusting your own ideas. There are many ways we can short-change ourselves when we communicate our ideas - whether that's to one person or a big audience. Today I'm talking about a common issue, with more to come in future posts. Not trusting our ideas fully enough. This one's particularly for you if you're in the business of creating change, influencing or persuading others. Not trusting in the power of our ideas to make a difference in the world is often the biggest internal block we have to...